Spontaneous Grandpa Brings Home Very Random Animals And Reminds Us All That Perfect Couples Actually Do Exist (Wholesome Tumblr Thread)

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Nov 27, 2023 10:00 AM EST

If it wasn't clear just yet, we, here at Animal Comedy, are animal people. We love animals. From small animals that fit in the palm of your hand to giant animals that you wouldn't even believe are real all the way to strangely sassy sea animals that are way cuter than you could ever imagine. Every animal is amazing in our eyes. Each and every one of them is unique, and we, as animal people, want to meet all of them. We want to meet them and pet them and adopt them and make sure that they are the happiest creatures to walk the earth. Somehow. 

Alas, not all of us can be quite so daring, but the grandpa in this thread… decided to be the hero that we are not. Snapping turtles, hawks, baby deer and horses and squirrels and just about everything else that you can think of - this man clearly loves them all. Almost as much as he loves his wife. 

SHOP THE NYAN CAT X ICANHASCHEEZBURGER COLLECTION. 

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  • 01
    gallusrostromegalus Follow An Incomplete List of the Animals my Grandpa brought home over the course of his 67-year marriage to Gandma:
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    The level of wholesomeness in this thread is one that - we promise you - you are not ready for. Seriously, this is the kind of relationship that we want to have - where we can come home with a random animal one day, and it will be received with fondness and open arms. Sigh, what a dream. 

  • 02
    • Annabell, a solid white and completely deaf pit bull that used to let mom draw on her belly • The World's Ugliest Tom Cat, who turned ● out to be the cuddiest teddy bear of an animal • Cocker spaniel named "Captain" Stupid, the Cat ●
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    It's the details that makes this thread. It's the fact that it's not simply "cat", it's "The World's Ugliest Tom Cat". We would like to think that these descriptions also came directly from the grandfather, because that would make this even more perfect. 

  • 03
    • Litter of baby raccoons • Three more cats ● • A completely bald and extremely anxious canary that sang beautifully, but only at 4 AM • Baby Squirrel that grew up in the house and then refused to move out
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  • 04
    • A Genuine Thoroughbred Racehorse who was a spectacular athelete but had a habit of running races in the wrong direction. Benny turned out to be a terrific trail horse instead. • Turtle Snapping Turtle
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  • 05
    • A bucket full of 43 goldfish left over from the fair. Mom counted once they were all in the bathtub in the backyard with the snapping turtle. • Another cocker spaniel named "Major", who had the tremendous talent of eating green beans silently • Red-tailed hawk he found on the highway, ● and sucessfully nursed back to health and released.
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    Dummy, Son of Stupid Strange, the dog that lived under the porch. and only came into the house at night. • An "abandoned" baby deer. Spooky, an alleged dog. • Joey the parakeet whose tricks were 1. drinking tea out of a tiny cup ● 2. threatening to peck out people's eyes 3. wearing hats
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    • A Really Big Toad he found behind the factory, because the other auto workers were discussing using it for target practice. Mr. Grumpity was guardian of the rosebed for several years and granny's (his mother) favorite animal he ever brought home.
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    Gretchen, a St. Bernard that had to be shaved from her prior owner's neglect, and spent a week hiding from sight with such success in the house that they thought she'd run away. • Arson, Burglary and Murder, three frankly adorable little kittens. They did not change the names, much to the regret of the cop who lived three doors down.
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    • Yet another Cocker Spaniel, named "Colonel" ● Cardinal (bird) • Canada Goose (Demon) • Once in the nursing home, he had a "pet" 12-point whitetail buck that would come to his window to be fed corn and get headskritches, inexplicably named "Florence"
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    The marriage only ended because thier time on earth did. He never kept an animal Grandma wouldn't allow and if anything she was worse about it. She was the one who brought home a tarantula.
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    gallusrostromegalus Questions from the Notes: Your grandparents were Druids, right? They were a Steel Worker and Head Clerk at the local grocery store, respectively.
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  • 12
    How does a Horse run races the Wrong way? Get near the finish line then make a U-turn becuase he wasn't done running yet. He was also an excellent jumper and swimming horse. Much happier being a trail horse on Cleveland's Emerald Belt.
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  • 13
    How does a St. Bernard hide in a small suburban house? Clever use of the space behind the couches, under the sink and under beds. For a 110lb animal, Gretchen was also very quiet and knew to wait until the house was empty to move from hiding spaces or to snitch food off the counters. Once her coat grew back in she was willing to be visible again.
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  • 14
    The Tarantula Didn't come froma pet store, did it? You know that stereotype about Tarantuals hiding in Bananas? That used to be a real thing that happened when bananas started being regularly available in Postwar mass market grocery stores. Not very often, but it did. Grandma found the tarantula in a shipment of Bananas, and being the only non-arachnophobe working in the store, took her home and named her "Carmen Tarantula" after the famous brazilian singer. Geography was not Grandma's strong po
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  • 15
    Carmen Tarantula lived for 3 years and juding by the extremely blurry polaroid in the family albums, was probably a Brazilian Black.
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  • 16
    What do you mean Spooky was an "Alleged Dog"? Well, for one thing, she Meowed. Spooky was a 35lb delicate-limbed dog with owl- like pale green eyes and bat-like ears that was solid black save for a white patch on her chest in exactly the shape of Casper The friendly ghost, which was the only part of her visible when she would roam the halls at night, which is how she got the name.
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  • 17
    Spooky was living in the house at the same time as Dummy, Son Of Stupid and another more Prototypical cat named Needles. Dummy would sometimes forget what he was doing and get lost in the house, causing him to mewl pathetically until one of the humans or animals found and escorted him back to more familiar settings. Typically, Needles would meow back at Dummy until she found him. After three weeks in the house, Spooky could do an astonishingly good Cat's Meow as well.
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  • 18
    Spooky could also open doorknobs, get into the attic which didn't even have a human entrance, would sit up like a human to eat her dinner or watch TV, and had a peculiar penchant for fishing. Grandpa and Uncle popeye would regularly take her on fishing trips becuase she'd gleefully dive into the lakes and finish bringing the catch in, whether it were lake trout or pike or in one case, a strugeon.
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  • 19
    Spooky also LOVED tomatoes. More than anything else in the world. If given a choice between a ribeye and a tomato, Spooky would chose the tomato every time. This only applied to raw tomatoes though, she despised ketchup. So while very much shaped like one, Spooky gave the distinct impression of something else dressed up as a dog. Whatever she was, she was a loving and beloved companion to the family for 16 years.
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    If you enjoyed this story, you can check out my #Family Lore tag on my blog, or you can pre- order copies of the Family Lore Book containing many more stories on my Patreon. I am disabled and telling stories online is my primary source of income so if you share these please link back and consider donating to my Ko-Fi or PayPal. Thank you all for your support! 80,794 notes D 13 tl 3
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